Club Clothes

Brace yourself because this post goes out to all the cats who buy an outfit for that night to wear to the club and wear it throughout the week until the next club session. I know who you are (don't fux with me). Working retail can be a trip sometimes especially dealing with the every-day customer that smells like booty and weed. I ask myself every time I work on the weekend "Why are you buying expensive ass clothes when your armpits smell like a whole order of pork fried rice with extra egg and sprouts??!!" Come on fam...I know you can smell yourself...and let's not mention the weed in your pocket. I think cats like to carry around weed to make themselves seem like a threat (i don't get it), but majority of the cats who come through reek of cannabis. I would think they would at least bathe but they have to have the latest fusions before anything! (Yes...Jordan fusions...because Retros do not sale anymore, but I will save the Jordan sneaker talk for another post because this is strictly for my poor D boys). I'm not dissing anyone at all because they are dissing themselves smelling like that. At times i see these cats in the mall...not buying anything...just scalping for chicks. Not a good look but I heard you can find a winner at the mall (lowkey hood chick). You can always tell club clothes from regular clothes. Here is an example:

COMMENT PLZ...... WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT CLUB CLOTHES?

The whole run around....

....for nothing -drops head in shame-

"Mama who dis hoe?"

Chicken & Black Folks....so predictable

I had to steal this from the homie @Vandalyzm on Twitter. Stereotypin' at its best. I won't say no mo'. I'll just let u check it out for ya self:

STANK Is No Good In A Learning Atmosphere #fact

This is my little niece Tamera....4 years of age. I love her....just as goofy as I am...(just in a smaller body). My oldest sister/ her mama called me last night to tell me that Tamera had gotten in trouble at school. My 1st reaction was 'O LAWD' because my sister is "that one parent" who tries to take any situation her kids are involved in to court. So I was waiting for there to be a big uproar. Well....that actually wasn't the case this time. According to my sister, (after a long "conference" with the teacher) Tamera deserved her punishment....which was a timeout in the corner *sad face*. I'm sure you all wanna know what she did (If u don't, F-U & keep reading anyway)...She simply kept changing seats because she did not want to sit by the stank kid in the class....The teacher kept telling her to sit still but she wouldn't. Ok...if I was the teacher, this would not be a big deal!!! I would simply help Tamera find a comfortable place (assigned seats ain't ISH by the way). I have been in Tamera's position before...1st grade....got in trouble for not wanting to sit by the "boy who smelled like pee". So I know her pain!! It's not a good thing to have to endure such STANK! All she wanted to do was find a comfortable seat/area so she could simply learn her lessons for the day *innocent face*.

Ok so maybe i am playing the "over-protective" role as the aunt, but #imjustsayin (<--Twitter lingo). Teachers should be aware of the stank kids in the classroom. And they can't tell me that they don't know who they are. If a 4-year-old notices a foul aroma, I know the grown person in charge will. It's time to take a stand teachers!! You have 4-year-olds who are hinting to you that they are in pain & suffering! Do you want this to distract them from their studies so they can turn into deadbeats and crack hoes when they get older because YOU didn't allow them to get comfortable and move away from the smelly distraction!?! Contact the stank kids' parents and let them know the deal. If you see that the stank kids' parents are stank too....offer them a business card to the nearest therapy counseling in the area....because this is TRULY a problem!!

Let's all take a stand and promote good hygiene!!!

Clean Classrooms = Productive Learning

FLAVOR FLAV HIT YOU WIT THE BOOYAH!!

STOP HATING ON FLAV!! I am going to purchase this single on iTunes because his ugliness and goofy spirit MAKES MY DAY!!!

Check out his new single "Never Let You Go" and LOL @ 1:51 in and also at 3:36 !!!

Never figured out why he was holding the iPod stereo deck in the desert tho...*scratches head*

Twiggy's Vent Session

I went to SYGU's "2010" party last night and had a BLAST!...Got my groove on and kicked it with the homies. If anyone knows me, you would know that I can basically dance/jam to anything (minus J.Lo). But when I am grooving and I get interrupted by BS talk from a DJ....then that is a NO GO BUDDY! There was one DJ who happened to blow out 1/2 of my ear drum due to excessive screaming...not to mention, I couldn't understand him because he was speaking the same language as Donnie from the Wild Thornberrys. But ANYwhooo, after I finally became accustomed to this "sound", here he comes with this nonsense (and this was said/done multiple times):

"This is for the people 25 and older!...If you not 25 and older, you probably don't kno' nuthin bout this!!....If you 25 and older raise ya hands!!!....These young folks don't know about this!!"

*blank face* If I recall, this was a 21 and up event...so um....yea....what's up with this "25 & up" talk??....But that is besides the point. If you are going to pick an age to stretch the generation gap...at least go for 30-40. Because 25 is ONLY 3 years older than me....so tell me how I couldn't be on the same stuff they are on. So you tellin ME that these 25-year-olds were 3 years old rockin' out to some Slick Rick and Run DMC??...maybe so...but I know for a fact you didn't know what they were talking about and probably didn't learn the lyrics until you printed them out on AZLyrics.com in the late 90s. But THAT is besides the point...(not really but let me make my closing statement):

MUSIC HAS NO AGE!!

Do artists make music with an expiration date?....I sure hope not. That would mean that they have no true passion. Music lives on forever. So stuff from the past has caught up to me in this present day...for me to enjoy and jam WITH you if not MORE than you. Just check my iPod. The range is CrrAzyy! Just PLEASE....stop trying to feel special by putting yourself in a certain category....because besides the birth date, I've probably already been there. You might just learn from me. Think about it.

-CASE CLOSED-

The End.

I CHALLENGE YOU TEDDY RILEY!!!

If you haven't heard......the head honcho of the New Jack Swing movement, Teddy Riley, has been accused of physical abuse to his daughters Taja (18 y.o) and Deja (21 y.o). Supposedly, the fight was arisen due to a heated discussion about Teddy's current "love in his life"...some 22-year-old broad...(hmm..pretty close to the age of his daughters...so i'm sure this was awkward/ a problem from the beginning). ANYwhooo, Teddy got angered and this resulted in him kicking, stomping, & punching his daughters while they were down (i added in "while they were down" for a dramatic emphasis...they might have been standing strong in the fight). ANYwhooo....listen to this....Teddy also uses a Rock Band guitar to finish them off!!!...and even has the nerve to threaten to kill them with the guitar! Can we all say together?...............DROVE!!!!!

Ok ok. So they say the fight was because of Teddy's hot mama...but I know it must be something more...especially with the details involved. I mean come on!....a Rock Band controller!!??!..Sounds like somebody was suffering from a major loss after playing Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer". *shaking my head* Yep I said it. This is all a cover up. Teddy was upset that his daughters were smashing him in game play...so just like a sore loser...he takes to violence. Tsk Tsk. What if he was to play me??....A person who spends a certain amount of time a day jammin' on this electronic guitar...getting better every beat. He would have probably put me in a WWE stranghold and sent me to ICU....because I would have de-glorified his a$$ !!! But I ain't no sucka!! I'M CALLING YOU OUT TEDDY!!! COME AND GET IT!!! I'LL BRING THE GUITARS (because I am sure that yours is done for since you used it for illegitimate reasons)....I'M CHALLENGING YOU FROM THE DEPTH OF MY SOULLLLLL!!!!

SIDENOTE: I do not take physical abuse as a joke...regardless if it is used as "discipline". Teddy absolutely took it too far. I hope that no one was offended by my tangent.

@Mademonarch_O's Trip Down Memory Lane

Last night, Hump, my significant other Octavious, and I were pretty darn bored. What do you do when you're bored???....you turn to Twitter. Clowning was present in all of us but for some odd reason, Octavious (@Mademonarch_O) decided to go in on himself. Mind you...we were in a club posted...together (HA!). So we got the privilege of laughing while no one else knew what we were laughing at #FTW. Here are some of @Mademonarch_O's #fails:

I use to tuck my tee shirts in my jeans with a belt on

I had one iceberg shirt #shitwasfakethough didn't have a cartoon on it I had a damn teletubby

Ight man here it goes I use to wear my brother ecko shoes that he got from mr rags northwestplaza they was hella big too

Fuck it I use to wear big sweater vests with no undershirt

I bought Shaq cd #cantstopthereign

I use to like the hot boys hellaz when I was younger I went on www.hotboys.com and was hella pissed it was gay porn

I use to sneak and watch my brothers porn tapes and rewind them back at the exact part he left off #gotmyissueoff


Now we all were on some rubbish back in the day. Don't front (Some still are). But some of his ish was mind-boggling <--gotta love that word.

Black...must I say?...

DROVE!!!! Octavious better be thankful for what he got now <-- (Arrogant statement). All I'm gonna say is.....look at his date's shoes......*blank stare*...Goodyear heels. I bet if Twiggy would have walked by struttin' at that moment....he would have dropped to his knees and begged the Lord for mercy.

SIDEBAR (Not really but kinda): We have said this before and I will say it again....IF YOU AIN'T ON TWITTER AND YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING MY TWEET LINGO....MOVE ON! CUZ I CAN'T FUX WIT YA!

Lacefronts fo LIFE!

This is my friend SuJo. She has been rockin lacefront wigs since the tender age of 4 months.

FUX WIT HER!!!

I'd Rather Walk Barefoot to My Destination...

...than to buy a car from these folks.

The Unknown

My good friend E. Red said she was scrolling through Blockbuster one day and seen 2 black dudes on the DVD pictured above that looked highly familiar. *light bulb* HEY! THAT'S ICE CUBE & MIKE EPPS! Black people like these guys!! I thought that Cube Vision (Ice Cube's film company) had movies that hit theaters...regardless of flops...but hmm....I don't remember seeing this at theatres.....hmm.....wait....did this go straight to DVD??!!! *gasp*!! Movies like this aren't even given the benefit of the doubt to pull in their committed mediocre audience in theatres so they are thrown into the video stores...i think (or is it just me?)...for the heck of it. That is truly unfortunate. I wouldn't have paid a dime to see this movie in theatres OR to rent it for the mere price of $1. But I feel the need to watch it because it's always nice to receive a few chuckles from low-budget quality things. The movie is on YouTube if you would like to join me. *shrug*

P.S. I couldn't even find the trailer for this deal. This has been stamped: DEAD!

Beware Of Those Golf Clubs Tiger!!

So everyone heard of the car accident that Tiger Woods was involved in..(if you haven't, GOOGLE IT!...its time to become aware of funny ish people!!!!) ANYwhoooo...it is very random & suspicious to get in an accident at a random time at night/morning...into your neighbors fire hydrant/tree....without involving alcohol. Your wife has to save you with golf clubs by knocking out the window EVEN tho the accident wasn't ALL that bad....hmmmm......*Long pause with a raised eyebrow*.....my thoughts exactly. Sounds like:

SOMEONE IS CHEATING!!!....and SOMEONE FOUND OUT!

So Tiger & his wife weren't tryin' to peep about the situation, but you know...once the side-chick gets word that this is becoming farely popular, the idea of (*insert light bulb here*) FAME takes over like an infectious disease. So she's throwing out all the evidence...freaky text messages and even a voicemail that insists on hiding that evidence. Check it out real quick:

TEXT MESSAGES

"I will wear you out...when was the last time you got (bleeped)?" one message read.

Another one from Tiger read, "Send me something very naughty...Go to the bathroom and take (a picture)."

VOICEMAIL

*shaking my head* Tiger, Tiger, Tiger. Like @DragonFlyJonez says..."Tiger shoulda been f*ckin with us...watch how much "they" support him in this crisis.."

I Laugh @ Drunk People

Officer: Are you gonna take a breath test?
Mr. Turner: WHAT?! WHAT muthaf*ckin breast test?!!
Officer: Are you gonna take a breath test?
Mr. Turner: HELL NAWWWWWWW!

Weight Loss Gone Wrong

Dude lost 400 pounds and look at his results.....NOT appeasing!!
(nice shoulders tho *blank face*)

Things That Shouldn't Happen

This video is nonsense (but you should still watch it). Not only is that purple shiny booty sloppy....BUT...check out the footwork 30 seconds in....I am DISGUSTED!!....(but entertained nonetheless)

RUN THE TAPE!

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Yes...This is Real & Recent...If You Were Wondering

Yes....that is Jodeci.
Yes...that is H-Town.
Yes...you are right. They weren't creative enough (referring to the name of the song)
Yes....they are all going hard.
Yes....Devante looks cracked out.
Yes...they sing "SHAZAMM" at 0:10
Yes....this is new.
Yes.....I don't feel good.
Yes...I want you to look at it and get a laugh off.

Bape 2009 Winter Collection

Found these scans of the Bape 09 winter catalog from the homies over at SwaggerDap.com . Now being that it is Bape you should know that you're going have to have drop some serious cash if you want any of these pieces for your wardrobe....with that said these pieces in particular the jackets and the crew necks are pretty dope. I'm feeling those "buttery" burgundy boots as well but im not even going to think about what those are retailing for lol...

I think Bape has the most successful usage of camouflage of anyone, and above is a prime example.

Bottom right of the photo above.....that purple.....woo...man o man...i want that lol



via....SwaggerDap.com

WTF! BREAKING NEWS PPL!

MY DUDE WILL HUMP JUST SHOWED ME A TWEET FROM @THESHOEGAME TALKIN ABOUT A 6 YEAR OLD BOY WHO FLOATED AWAY IN A HOMEMADE HOT AIR BALLOON. HERE IS THE LINK FOR MORE INFOhttp://www.cnn.com/2009/US/10/15/colorado.boy.balloon/index.html

This Isn't A Baby...She's really 26

Look at this baby dancing to Stanky Leg. Besides finding humor in the socks she has on, I had to chuckle at the fact that she actually stays on beat for 98% of the video. Check it: