Don't Fux With The Bieb

props to James Richie Coleman for this awesomeness....

NEW RAAANDDY!! (break dat sh*t):

Raaaaaaaandy Declares War on Justin Bieber from Aziz Ansari

Well.

God is Good All the time. . .

And All the time God is GOOD!!

I would like to thank the father for the progression of my African American People through all industries, and for my continued blessings.

Seeing this face was one of my blessings because It definitely warmed my soul.

Please have at it in the comments.

(If you didn't watch the Oscars you missed out! this is the Face following Monique's Acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actress)

Club Clothes

Brace yourself because this post goes out to all the cats who buy an outfit for that night to wear to the club and wear it throughout the week until the next club session. I know who you are (don't fux with me). Working retail can be a trip sometimes especially dealing with the every-day customer that smells like booty and weed. I ask myself every time I work on the weekend "Why are you buying expensive ass clothes when your armpits smell like a whole order of pork fried rice with extra egg and sprouts??!!" Come on fam...I know you can smell yourself...and let's not mention the weed in your pocket. I think cats like to carry around weed to make themselves seem like a threat (i don't get it), but majority of the cats who come through reek of cannabis. I would think they would at least bathe but they have to have the latest fusions before anything! (Yes...Jordan fusions...because Retros do not sale anymore, but I will save the Jordan sneaker talk for another post because this is strictly for my poor D boys). I'm not dissing anyone at all because they are dissing themselves smelling like that. At times i see these cats in the mall...not buying anything...just scalping for chicks. Not a good look but I heard you can find a winner at the mall (lowkey hood chick). You can always tell club clothes from regular clothes. Here is an example:

COMMENT PLZ...... WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT CLUB CLOTHES?

Good Morning

Ja Rule had a Birthday Party. . .

None of his Celebrity friends came. . .

Ashanti Stopped by. . .

Thats all. . .

Iamme Collective Drops

This is the fourth Design Debut of Iamme Collective. It's going to be dropping next week. People who are considered odd or apart from the group are often realized to be separated on the fore-front of new things.

We are not making complacent clothes, try something new. . . Fox with us.

www.IammeCollective.com Taking orders now.

Oh and along with the clothes we love life, so check out the second installment of Iamme Quickies!

Iamme Quickies 2 from Iamme Collective on Vimeo.

The Simple Things Are What Make My Day

Cheap Pop Song from Rhett Dashwood on Vimeo.

YUNG BERG FINALLY GIVES IN

DAMN WHO IS THIS TAHIRMOORE CAT?

Twiggy & Sleepovers

So the picture up above is me around the age of 7 or 8 bout to head to the Christmas Program at church to say the speech that I practiced oh so hard and long for. The rest of the post will be about me in the 7th grade...*blank face*...nothing to do with the picture up above...but this was the only picture that I could find on the web that gave you a sense of my youth. In case you are trying to imagine what I look like in the 7th grade for the remainder of the post, just look at the picture up above, color me in a tad bit browner (just a tad), add a couple inches of height, scratch the dress, and grow my hair out and you have the 12-year-old Twiggy. Any questions???....oook...let's go.

My friends and I happen to randomly talk about our childhoods around lunch time (I don't know what it is...it's like the word "lunch" cues childhood memories). But ANYwhooo, somehow, it got on the subject of sleepovers. I use to be a big fan of sleepovers as a child because I wanted to show my childhood friends that I had a fun house with a cool a$$ mom. A show-off if I must say (luckily, that characteristic has deteriorated but I like to say that I show-off modestly these days). If you are unaware, getting a group of girls together (regardless of age), may result in abandoned friendships, injuries, or whatever else you want to choose from the list. I have been a cute tomboy since I got to pick out my own clothes, so those things that most girls get upset over didn't quite occur with me. The first time I can remember being mad at some chicks at a sleepover was because they were cheating while we were playing "Red Light Green Light" (I believe in winning fair and square and if you have to cheat to surpass me, you ain't nuthin' but a SUCKA!) Besides all of that nonsense, my sleepovers have been in the clear......

UNTIL....

I had a sleepover with 2 of my girl friends in the 7th grade. This was the smallest sleepover I have had in my life and turned out to be the worst....ain't that a biznitch! I will NOT put out the names of these individuals because I have realized that even events that happened years ago still affect the soul....and um...I don't want anyone's soul to be affected. So for the sake of hearts, I will call the individuals 'Tee and Jee' throughout the post. Tee is skinny and Jee is fat.

This story is not long, and I will get straight to the point. What is crazy is that only ONE of these chicks ruined the sleepover and caused me to permanently delete sleepovers from my list of "joy". Jee is the cause. (GOT DAMMIT JEE! I probably could have gotten a couple more years of sleepovers in! I just realized that.) ANYwhooo...me, Tee, & Jee were having a grand ol' time doing our sleepover things....trading Pokemon cards, playing streetball, and even got some Barbie time in. Midnight hit and we had made it to the TV to watch those scary movies that you look at now to be a disgrace...but back then they gave you the creeps. Me and Tee were sitting in the TV room frightened from a scene in the movie when I realized that Jee had been missing for quite awhile. Me and Tee searched the house and found Jee knocked out on the floor in my room. Me and Tee laugh instantly...ready to crash her face with the historic toothpaste prank...but we decide to let her get good and sleep before we execute the plan....so we go for snacks. Joyfully, I open the cabinet and look for all of the goodies that my mama had bought for us....Hmm....couldn't find them. I search the other cabinet...2 bags of chips. Next stop...the fridge...2 juices!! Where are my muthasuckin' snacks at?! We had way more than this! Then I hear Tee say quietly, "umm....Jhonna....check out the trash." Can you BELIIEEVVVEE that in the trash can there were tons of chip and candy bar wrappers and juice boxes EMPTY?!" Me and Tee look at each other and instantly run back up to my room to search Jee for evidence. Lo and behold, there by Jee's hand was a half-eaten bag of Doritos. WTF!!!! This fat a$$ seriously ate up all my snacks!!!....These snacks were for 3 people and she smashed a good 85% of it!! I was through. I woke Jee up and told her that both her and Tee had to get the hell up outta here in the morning.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Twiggy Don't Fux Wit' Fat A$$es at Sleepovers

TAHIR MOORE?

Tahir Moore started doing comedy professionally in 2002 at the Funnybone in Westport In St. Louis, MO. Tahir quickly grew a passion for the stage. While attending Harris-Stowe State University he hosted a slew of variety shows, Greek events, comedy shows, and open mics. Tahir has toured the nation three times with the largest Tobacco Prevention/Awareness program, the truth®. He has MC’d on such tours as the Ball 4 Real Tour, a derivative of And1, Atlantic Records All-Star Tour, Summer Jam, Roc the Mic, Tony Hawk’s Boom Boom Huck Jam and the 2009 VANS Warped Tour. With three years of touring, guest appearances on hit shows such as MTV’s “Yo Momma” “MADE” and BET’s “106 and Park”, an entertainment company, and Bachelor’s in Business Administration, it’s safe to say Tahir Moore is no laughing matter. Now residing in Los Angeles, Tahir continues to push the envelope on entertainment. Vowing to upload a new video every week, Tahir stays ahead of curve by pushing himself to the limit. Watch what he does next!

FOR MORE INFO ABOUT TAHIR CHECK OUT www.whoistahirmoore.com/

Madagascar 2

I think this Is the funniest thing I've seen in a while. I haven't paid much attention to 3D animation movies since The Incredibles. This old lady worked his ass lol. #kidstuff

SNEAKA FOTOs

I made my main man Michael come out of his sneaker retirement the other day, and guess what he copped?

NOW I PROMISE THIS WILL BE LAST POST ABOUT THE COPPER FOAMPOSITES. But you must admit these are some sick ass photos. NIKE HIRE THIS NIGGA!

It's like a fair trade, he bought yall shoes (nike) and yall hire him to make them look good in photos (plus he can give me that good ol discount) #nigga$hit

But seriously if he can make these sneakers look 10 times better in a photo imagine what he could do to a nigga that look like this.........

#imjussaying

holla at my dude mtphotographystl.blogspot.com/

By the Way....How Old Is This Ninja?

Gary Coleman is outta control!!! His anger got him cookin'!...lookin' like ground hamburger meat!

MM x PhotoBooth x Randomness

This is what happens you have too much time on your hand and macbook photobooth...lol

Check out Twiggy mouth while she sitting on the couch, looks like straight "o's" lol

Quickies!!

DOO-DOO CHRONICLES (PART 1)

My homies and I have convos that often go off on a tangent....an interesting tangent nonetheless. If you know me, there are a lot of words that I cannot/will not say/use. Basically, these words are banned from my vocab due to my morals (*pause*...NOT!) or for the simple fact that it just sounds disgusting and trife. But NO ONE has more banned words from their vocab than my friend Ebo-S. She can't say ANYTHING! She has me beat (I mean...at least I can say TWAT!)

Somehow, we started talking about doo-doo. Ebo-S explained how she couldn't stand that word. This girl can't say DOO-DOO?!! I mean...you DO something, so why not say it twice??....DOO-----DOO! But Anywhoooo, I wanted to continue on with this convo out of curiosity. So I asked her: What word do you use? (I mean...there are so many to pick from: DOO-DOO, SH*T, DEUCE....and so on). She said that she doesn't use the words at all; she just says "Go to the restroom". I pressured her because she HAD to refer to it at least ONCE in her life. Finally, she admitted that she used the word "BLOP" if need be. Mr. Nesbitt said that word was worst because that's the sound it makes when it hits the water.

Finally, Octavius decided to ask Ebo-S if she would say "DOOKIE" for $1 Million dollars. Now, I HATE the word DOOKIE, but for $1 Million, I would say it in as many ways possible including in different languages. Ebo-S agreed. And Mr. Nesbitt chimes in with "Boy I'll EAT dookie for $1 Million!" *blank face* We all got WEAK!!

The convo veered off a little more and me and the homie Hump decided to figure out the different characteristics of the various words for a bowel movement. Here's what we came up with:
* Doo-Doo is wet but takes various shapes depending on how your booty hole is feeling
* Poop is wet but is molded in shape and skinny and it has a reddish-brown color to it
* Boo-Boo is hard and dark
* Dookie is hard and green
* Sh-t is big, long, and regular brown

If you got more DOO-DOO DEFINITIONS, post them mugs in the comment box

P.S. If you are offended by DOO-DOO TALK, your stay on MadeMonarchs.com is not welcomed anyway! You ol' mark-a$$-buster!!

MORE DOO-DOO STORIES TO COME!!!

*DEAD* LOL

Keep yo hands off my momma and keep yo hands off my doritos!

The whole run around....

....for nothing -drops head in shame-

like $hit boy

"LET YO SOUL GLO LIKE SHIT BITCH"

2 Days Until KICKS. . .

The Kicks Party is only two days away, So lets talk. . .

Im afraid this Jordan brand of heels has taken it to another level with releases of IV, VII, VIII, XII, and XIII. (Let me know if I missed any, I'm still learning numbers)

Anyway, My hood hoochies. PLEASE don't get caught up in this. Cuz I like you to tooted up in heels, but the Monarchs will thrash you if hey Catch you in Jordan Heels!

Fantasia........For Real????

Last night was the season premiere of singer Fantasia's new reality show on VH1. "Ignorance is Bliss" equals Fantasia and her family. There was SOOO much going on in one show. From the jump, VH1 found it humorous to quote Fantasia in bold text across the screen. It read: "2010 is Mines". MINES????......Fantasia....For Real????...(Sidenote: It would have been fitting to put question marks after the title of the show).

ANYwhoooo, we got to meet her family. Her mama....which is obviously where Fantasia got ALL her looks from. Her brother Ricco...who was barely in the show but I decided to mention him anyway. Teeny....*long pause + blank face*.....her smoochin' a$$ brother who looks like Benji Brown aka "KEKE" from Comic View. Her daughter Zion.....no comment. And lastly, her Aunt Bunny......*sigh*.....I am not fond of this lady at ALL! You know there's always that outspoken person in your family who doesn't know how to stop talking....well that would be Aunt Bunny in Fantasia's family. Except I came to the conclusion that she was probably even MORE outspoken because the cameras were on. I seriously wanted to turn into a pixel, go through the tv, and infect her a$$ with the most dangerous radiation ever in life.

Besides all of that, there were a few "hmm" moments:

- At the beginning of the show, Fantasia said she had to deal with the rumors of her being illiterate. However, they showed a preview for future shows and she was told that she was at a 7th grade level......"hmm".....Might as well be illiterate.

-Fantasia had 19 different hairstyles in one taping......."hmm".....didn't think that was possible.

- Fantasia is tatted up like the subway in Harlem...."hmm"......looks like third-degree burns tho.

- Fantasia talks like Dill Pickles and sings like a male leader of a church choir who is gay...."hmm"...think about it.

- Fantasia proceeded to say "that word" again....."She ain't yo child..She MINES"...."hmm"....7th grade level kicks in.

- Big back b*tches stay in Fantasia's crowd...straight from my Twitter...."hmm"...maybe you should follow Me: TwiggyKix


Regardless of me being confused and annoyed throughout the entire show, I will still continue to turn my channel to VH1 Monday nights at 9pm central time.

P.S. I also watched the show "Let's Talk About Pep" afterwards and came to the conclusion that Pep could body slam me and break 5 different body parts with her LegoMan body.