PSA for hoes in the fast lane

I am soooo over traffic! I have the hardest time getting to school in the morning because the St. Louis area decides to do the bulk of their construction at high points in traffic. Today I felt like exploding in a large-sized flame on the highway. Hopefully my life would be revived and I would get a new car. But ANYwhoo...that's besides the point. Besides the excessive brake lights and snail-like speeds, impatient drivers in bad weather conditions is what REALLY grinds my gears! If you ride my bumper...and I have no way of speeding up due to a car literally 2 inches in front of me...where do you think that will get you??...NO WHERE!! So not only did you just make yourself upset for no reason but you made me even MORE irritated than I already was and now you have given me a reason to put a hit out on you....but I digress. I am not a violent person.
However, while sitting in traffic...of course I have nothing to do but think. I came up with the idea of putting a LED screen in the back of my car for wreckless drivers behind me to read. The closer you are to my bumper...the easier it is for you to read and that means this message was obviously directed at you. Here are some of the things that my LED screen would read:
• Good morning hoes!!
• I can extract rifles out the back of my tires....don't make me use them
• Where ya headed???...NO WHERE!
• Care to get in an accident today?
• Care to lose the case?
• I can extract midgets with armed weapons out the back of my trunk...don't make me use them.
• Please stop....don't make me "get buck"
• "Who gon' check meh boo?"
• *insert middle finger here*
• I hate my car anyway. And I would love your money. Can't wait for you to hit it *smile*
• "I say whoops...up..side ya head. I say whoops upside ya head"
WHO GON HELP ME CREATE THIS?!....(After this, we will be inventing a teleporting machine. Get ready)