11.28.2009

Light Bulb Moment: You Must be Nice to Your Lady to See Her Tits...

a while ago i had an idea that seemed to be a fool-proof way to end any argument with your significant other. i came up with the idea that every woman should pull out one of their titty's in the middle of an argument because men can't think clearly when un-restrained ass and tits are within eye-shot. it seemed like a great plan, you know?... women can get there issue off while the man is preoccupied with her soft bulbous (or semi-bolbous) bosom, everybody fuckin wins!!!

i had a conversation with my lady and she readily agreed it was an awesome idea, her exact words were "i'm down!"... the next time i felt an argument brewing, i found myself more excited than frustrated. we started fussing and as the tension grew, so did my excitement (and my dick). i just knew, at some moment, she was going to pull her bitty out (i couldn't wait)! i kept replaying how that pretty m*hf*cka would fall out the bottom of her bra and bounce around like a zip-lock bag full of brown jello, until it found it's proper resting place. it would be an epic moment (no matter how many times a man has seen the same pair of tits, it's always an epic moment. it's like watching "Do The Right Thing" and getting that same weird sad/mad feeling everytime that big square-headed cop chokes out Radio Raheem, it never gets old!)... BUT much to my dismay that moment never came. a couple more arguments came and passed with the same results. i was unbelievably confused, why the hell isn't she pulling her damn titty out???

well, i finally figured out why, while riding home from droppin my sister off at the train station at 6:00 am this morning listening to this....


The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas To You) - Nat King Cole

(Random right? great song though!)

anyway, the problem is that women don't like to pull their titty's out when they are mad. even women like mine, that (when in a good mood and in the privacy of our apt.) are liable to pull their titty out at any moment. i mean, we will be watching t.v. and i will take a glance at her and she will be looking at the t.v. with her shirt over her head and her titties out, (goofy ass girl) but when we are at odds she will change in the damn closet before she allows me to even get a glimpse of her glorious private parts... so, i guess what i am trying to say is, i realize that i have to be nice to my chick in order to see her tits... novel idea, huh?

you would think i had already figured that out at the age of 27??? damn, i have a long way to go...

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