introducing...."THE RAP SUMO"

Chicken & Black Folks....so predictable

I had to steal this from the homie @Vandalyzm on Twitter. Stereotypin' at its best. I won't say no mo'. I'll just let u check it out for ya self:

Twiggy's Vent Session

I went to SYGU's "2010" party last night and had a BLAST!...Got my groove on and kicked it with the homies. If anyone knows me, you would know that I can basically dance/jam to anything (minus J.Lo). But when I am grooving and I get interrupted by BS talk from a DJ....then that is a NO GO BUDDY! There was one DJ who happened to blow out 1/2 of my ear drum due to excessive screaming...not to mention, I couldn't understand him because he was speaking the same language as Donnie from the Wild Thornberrys. But ANYwhooo, after I finally became accustomed to this "sound", here he comes with this nonsense (and this was said/done multiple times):

"This is for the people 25 and older!...If you not 25 and older, you probably don't kno' nuthin bout this!!....If you 25 and older raise ya hands!!!....These young folks don't know about this!!"

*blank face* If I recall, this was a 21 and up event...so um....yea....what's up with this "25 & up" talk??....But that is besides the point. If you are going to pick an age to stretch the generation gap...at least go for 30-40. Because 25 is ONLY 3 years older than me....so tell me how I couldn't be on the same stuff they are on. So you tellin ME that these 25-year-olds were 3 years old rockin' out to some Slick Rick and Run DMC??...maybe so...but I know for a fact you didn't know what they were talking about and probably didn't learn the lyrics until you printed them out on AZLyrics.com in the late 90s. But THAT is besides the point...(not really but let me make my closing statement):

MUSIC HAS NO AGE!!

Do artists make music with an expiration date?....I sure hope not. That would mean that they have no true passion. Music lives on forever. So stuff from the past has caught up to me in this present day...for me to enjoy and jam WITH you if not MORE than you. Just check my iPod. The range is CrrAzyy! Just PLEASE....stop trying to feel special by putting yourself in a certain category....because besides the birth date, I've probably already been there. You might just learn from me. Think about it.

-CASE CLOSED-

The End.

I CHALLENGE YOU TEDDY RILEY!!!

If you haven't heard......the head honcho of the New Jack Swing movement, Teddy Riley, has been accused of physical abuse to his daughters Taja (18 y.o) and Deja (21 y.o). Supposedly, the fight was arisen due to a heated discussion about Teddy's current "love in his life"...some 22-year-old broad...(hmm..pretty close to the age of his daughters...so i'm sure this was awkward/ a problem from the beginning). ANYwhooo, Teddy got angered and this resulted in him kicking, stomping, & punching his daughters while they were down (i added in "while they were down" for a dramatic emphasis...they might have been standing strong in the fight). ANYwhooo....listen to this....Teddy also uses a Rock Band guitar to finish them off!!!...and even has the nerve to threaten to kill them with the guitar! Can we all say together?...............DROVE!!!!!

Ok ok. So they say the fight was because of Teddy's hot mama...but I know it must be something more...especially with the details involved. I mean come on!....a Rock Band controller!!??!..Sounds like somebody was suffering from a major loss after playing Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer". *shaking my head* Yep I said it. This is all a cover up. Teddy was upset that his daughters were smashing him in game play...so just like a sore loser...he takes to violence. Tsk Tsk. What if he was to play me??....A person who spends a certain amount of time a day jammin' on this electronic guitar...getting better every beat. He would have probably put me in a WWE stranghold and sent me to ICU....because I would have de-glorified his a$$ !!! But I ain't no sucka!! I'M CALLING YOU OUT TEDDY!!! COME AND GET IT!!! I'LL BRING THE GUITARS (because I am sure that yours is done for since you used it for illegitimate reasons)....I'M CHALLENGING YOU FROM THE DEPTH OF MY SOULLLLLL!!!!

SIDENOTE: I do not take physical abuse as a joke...regardless if it is used as "discipline". Teddy absolutely took it too far. I hope that no one was offended by my tangent.

Women Suffering From Tiger Woods Syndrome (#whitepeopleshit)

i woke up this morning to read an article about women who are suffering from something called "tiger woods syndrome". certain woman have started to question their seemingly faithful boyfriends because tiger gave everybody the impression that he was faithful but was sharing the dick with multiple extra fuckin regular, ratchet ass, white cocktail waitresses at a time. well, listen here white woman (i don't know a single black woman that was the least bit suprised about this shit, and gives two fucks who he cheated with and why...) unless your husband is the most prolific athlete of the decade, makes close to $100 mil a year (yes, 100 mil, that isn't a typo), and has the baddest exotic women that you could EVER imagine swinging off his dick at every waking moment of the day, you probably have nothing to worry about. If your husband works an IT job, and spends 98.37% of the day with the top of his ass crack peeping out of his sz. 50 lee dungaree carpenter jeans, you can dry your weaping eyes because i promise you, nobody wants to fuck him other than you!

... i mean seriously, why is this so damn shocking? EVERY recognizable athlete is cheating or has cheated, it's a well-known fact amongst people who understand the realities of the world we live in. they have women hanging around like vultures waiting for the weak moment when he can't turn down "the vagina!!" (it's not hard to to slip-up and fall into some pussy when there is a sea of it around you! (c) anonymous insolence) i am sayin, two of his best friends are michael jordan and charles barkley, it doesnt take a college degree to figure that equation out.

bad broads + fame + money + dog-ass friends = a dog-ass ninja! (every.fucking.time)

so what have we learned today, white people (pronounced: white pe-pole)?

1. every decent athlete cheats
2. over weight people with IT jobs were virgins before they met you.

*BONUS* question...

now that you know this information, where should you take that bullshit you talkin?

ANSWER: THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!