2.24.2010

WON'T CATCH ME F*CKING UP MY Js

JORDAN XV


I'm not going to go by the infamous "SNEAKER HEAD" title. To be honest, I'm just a regular N*GGA that likes sneakers and cops that ILL $hit. Of course most of the sneakers I cop are "OVERLY HYPED"... "NEW SHIT"... "RETROS", but I can honestly say SO F*CKING WHAT! I wasn't able to get half....naw f*ck that....MOST of the stuff I own now because my parents wouldn't support the cost. Don't get me wrong..I was always into sneakers. Knowing the history behind them and all.
My first pair of Jordans were the blue/white 15s...PROBABLY THE WORST ONES EVER!...But I had to get them off the strength they were J's and I had my own money for them. Little did I know (or gave a f*ck), they were to damn small, but I copped anyway because I knew I couldn't afford a men's size 7 so I made that 6 work like a mother f*cker. I remember the first day I wore those shits (memory lane time): I laid my FUBU fit out on the bed (my brothers shit...I had to stunt though. BIG AS F*CK TOO!). Long sleeve FB shirt with the signature on the chest and the matching sweats! DAMN I WAS GEARED! #hoodshit (f*ck what you think..FUBU was the sh*t back then and if you owned some you were the shit). Man let me tell you..all the little hunnies was swinging AND I had a pager! DAMN!!!! Come on son...you can't tell me I wasn't the freshest n*gga in 6th grade. Man them shits were so tight on my feet, but I had to keep my cool walk...didn't want to f*ck up my fresh. That same day, knowing that I had no troubles coming my way, I forgot I had gym class #fail. Man I had no clothes to dress out in at all and I for damn sure wasn't gone jump around in my Js. I had to compromise. I walked into the locker room knowing I didn't have my gym clothes but I still made it seem like I did. I went up to my locker (empty as f*ck). "Damn what to do?" I asked my white homie Kyle did he have any extra clothes, and all he had was some dirty ass long asics running joints (white dudes buy their shoes big as hell and tie the strings tight as hell #randomfact) So I couldn't mess with Kyle. Who could I ask next?...hmm...my dude Shane Dotson. This white boy was a fucking giraffe. Long as shit and skinny as the candy cane bitch from "AHHHH REAL MONTERS" (remember that weak ass cartoon?). Anyways he gave me some long ass Adidas shorts and a sleeveless Lindbergh High shirt (I went to a county school 6-8th grade named Sperreng Middle and the High School was Lindbergh where Shane's big brother went). So I'm dressed out looking like a damn fool, but wasn't tripping because I was able to get my dress out points. "Damn I still have on my 15s!" Pacing around the locker room hard as hell, Dotson looks at me "Octavius (all the white people called me by my middle name in middle school including my teachers)...what the hell is wrong with you?" I couldn't tell this white boy the real reason. I was going bonkers! <<<#greatword. He would think to call me all the "niggers" and sh*t because I didn't want to bust down my kicks. I ended up telling him anyway. This may have been the longest blank stare in history between a black and white guy. He asked me if I was joking andI kindly replied back "F*CK NO!". I spent $108 on them joints! What the hell was he thinking?? I couldn't do any other activity other than duck walk in them mother f*ckers. He chuckled and said "Well I don't have any extra gym shoes for you to wear so what are you going to do?" Only thing I was thinking about was beating the shit outta him even though he helped me out but its the fact of what I knew he was thinking about me and him thinking the shit was funny. I replied back: "Well it depends on what we doing today in class." GOD HAD TO BE ON MY SIDE THAT DAY. I also forgot it was cardio week and that day happened to be the 50 meter dash. Oh yes..I knew I had that shit in the bag. 1st off, we all know (if you a true nigga) Black dudes run faster bare foot (am i fucking lying? can I get a witness!) And most of the white dudes were out of shape expect Shane, so I knew he was my only competition. There was a total of 30 kids (all dudes) in my gym class and we were broken down in groups of 6. Of course I ended up being in the group with Shane so I had to get in my Michael Johnson mode (for the f*ck heads who don't no who MJ is click here ). As we lined up, I started to untie my shoes. Coach H (gym teacher was also the football coach) screamed at me "Octavius why are untying your shoes??" Nervous as f*ck I yelled back: "My shoes are snug and they hurt when I run in them." Ha! I was really telling him the truth (little did he know) but lying at the same time. Once I got them shits off it was on and cracking. I was super nervous man. I had to win this race. #REASON 1 because I was the only black dude in my group.. #REASON 2 Shane just knew he was going to win because he was so slim and had long ass daddy long legs, and #REASON 3 I was fucking bare foot! What nigga you know lost a foot race bare foot? Plz bring that nigga to me so I can personally beat his ass for disgracing the black race. As the race was about to start, everyone was getting their last minute stretches in...I was damn near praying lol. At that moment all I could hear and see was my gym teacher dropping his flag and saying "go" at the top of his lungs. I couldn't believe how fast I took off. You would have thought CUJO was chasing me and I was running for dear life! I closed my eyes right before the finish line hoping them f*ckers were behind me...F*CK YEA! They were and Shane big slow ass was damn near last. I damn near passed out forgetting I had asthma and not puffing my inhaler before the race, yet I still came off on top.

Here is a replica of the race that I found on YouTube...

THE TALL FUCKER IN THE RED IS SHANE AND THE ALMOST BLACK/INDIAN KID WITH THE BLACK SHORTS IS ME.

I really don't know how to end this so ima say "F*CK YOU AND BYE"

oh yea and if the 15s ever come back out in that colorway, I'M COPPING WITH NO HESITATION BIIIIITTTTTCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

10 comments:

Tahir said...

I've never understood track.I have asthma too, but even without it, I'm not running if it doesn't involve me getting chased (for a damn good reason), saving my life, winning money, and or getting some ass. But if winning the race is the only way I can get that sweet trim, them I guess she can keep her sweet water trash and I'll walk to the finish line.

C. Harris said...

That was, by far, the realest, most entertaining blog posting that I've read. Similar story for me, Air Max '98...light blue fading to royal, yellow swoosh.

C. Harris said...

Oh, and we played basketball inside that day. My shoes fit, too.

Nichols Accomplished said...

hella funny shit!!! fucking great story b... good shit!

aries said...

Go's to show my lil brother did some dumb shit to be fly.. it was funny ... damn it took years for you to admit thats shit..........you should have kept them J's and hung them bitches in your car like baby shoes....

brooklyn kingsboro said...

man i had a story like that... timberland 40belows, 555-soul hat(orginal concept)and negro league sweatshirt...football practice

Twiggy Loveforkix said...

i hated dressing out...

Da$hing said...

realist shit ever lol. Man my pops is damn near 58 years old and to this day when faced with the challange of a footrace (which he will take from anybody) will take his shoes off and fly down the street with his feet hella naked #eastst.louisfinest. My momma drove threw fairground park and saw some girls jumping double dutch, pulled over, took her shoes off darted across the park and jumped in the rope bare feet and all and jumped till her asma flaired up lol. #richmondheightsbest

Da$hing said...

*asthma

La Paris said...

Great Story...I enjoyed every part of it! You go boi!!!!