My Pops = Master of Hypocrisy

It was my little brothers birthday yesterday, so the whole fam went to chuckie cheese to celebrate it (what happened to showbiz?.. that was way better to me, even though it was really just the same thing as chuckie cheese... *blankstare*...) sadly, i couldnt make it because i am out here in Colorado with my mom but my chick was there (my little brother has a major crush on her! i swear on everything that lil ninja is thinkin up some diabolical plan to sneak his 3 year-old penis in those drawls before i do.) AND she brought her friend. If you didn't know, my family is CRAZY as SHIT, every.single.fuckin.person, and the first thing my dad says to my lady is, "have you prepared your friend for what's about to occur?" ... (hahaaa!!!)

he decides to start the madness off with harrassing my girlfriend about how i am planning on smashing a couple bust downs during my time out here in colorado (my dad is the type of person that loves to fuck with people, and the more he likes you, the more he fucks with you... he must really like my lady because he gives her the hardest time in the world!) he even decided to call me and ask me about the chicks i plan on smashing, while on speakerphone, to mess with her... (i would have to be the dumbest idiot in the world to cheat on my chick, and she knows i am not stupid, so she wasn't trippin)... after he sees that isn't affecting her, he starts talking about how me and her do 69,(in front of her friend) and inquiring when she is gonna give up the pussy? (we are celibate... also, I just sang "pussy" like "puuussssaaaaeeeaaaaaayyyyeeeeeaaaayyyy", out loud for some reason... "runs" included! you should do it right now, if you don't laugh you probably ain't shit and hate life...) so, by this time my lady's friend is mortified. (i said mortified because she is the type of person that gets mortified... *smh* if you knew her, you would understand.) after they left her friend said, "oh my God! i heard he was reckless but i had no idea... he really says whatever is on his mind!"

for some reason, at the end of the night before they leave, he thinks it's appropriate to start talking about me and how ridiculous i am. he even brings up how he un-friended me on facebook because of my asshole-ish ways...(this dude will walk by me and rub his finger up my ass crack, and i'm the ridiculous one?) does that make any sense whatsoever?! he just talked about me and my chick's sex life (or lack of...) and hassled her about all my hoes in different area codes (haha! hoes in different area codes?.. i know it's lame but i couldnt resist!)... anyway, i have concluded that my pops is the biggest fucking hypocrite the world has EVER seen... BUT i love his crazy, trifling, hypocritical ass though...


random moment from last night:

my girlfriend bought (as opposed to brought... why the hell do people say brought?) my little brother a build-a-bear that has a recording of her voice saying, "I love you jonathan!" my dad was like, "oh shit, i hope he throws that thing when you give it to him!" she gave it to him and when my dad tried to take it my little brother said," give it back! that's my baby!"... (hhhhmmmmm???)BABY??? SHADY little boy wants my woman! i am gonna tap his little hand hard as shit when i see him, just to let him know IT'S NOT HAPPENIN!


OcTaViUs said...

i really think johnathan already hit man, i mean he be on her extra tough and she give him a lot of attention
you might wanna smell his dick to make sure

Anonymous Insolence said...

smell dick?.. haha!!! i might man...