Life Goal: Don't be The Guy That Stretches Out Hugs

While eating lunch with my chick i saw these middle-aged people embrace each other with the longest, lingering, most intimate hug in.the.WORLD! i promise it made me cringe, i felt like i was seeing something i shouldn't. like i had walked in on two custodians gettin their freak on in the break room (uuhhh... i am sorry to interrupt, i just wanted to tell you we're out of toilet tissue in the men's bathroom on the 3rd floor... i guess it can wait though... *blankface*) seriously, that hug wasn't just a hug, that was a hint. that hug said "i will see you tonight at the super 8, in room 112" (haha, room 112...) anyway, it made me think...

my first thought was, is that what i have to look forward to when i get old. will i start draggin out hugs with chicks instead of smashing because i don't have the energy to really get it crackin...

then i thought, there is no way that i can ever be that dude that does that shit because the most uncomfortable thing in life is a long, drug out hug. i feel like "yeah, uh, this hug is going a little longer than planned." (i actually think that shit). when i was in pre-school i use to hug this bad chick named lelani everyday (she was bad for a 4 yr. old, ya know?.. also, i am certain that every chick named lelani is destin to be gorgeous. if you name your child lelani and she is drove, you should be fined and your child should be forced to change her name by law...). well, one day this big, dirty, pig-nosed, dry ass 4 yr. old tried to give me a hug after lelani did it and it was sooo long! after it, she looked at me like "look what i did! my hug's are better than lelani's". i guess she wanted me to express my gratitude, but i didn't know what to say, so i didn't say anything. i just picked up my backpack, walked over to my mom, and we left... the next day, she tries to give me a hug again, right after lelani, and i said ,"no!"... no expression, no nothing, just no... then she tried to force it on me, and i stepped to the side. we looked at each other for a couple seconds, and when it started to get too awkward i turned to walk to my mom and her big Iroguois (pronounced: i-ri-coy) indian lookin ass yelled out a battle cry and scratched me across my face, then she ran away crying! ( i still have the scar on my face until this day...)

ever since then, i have not been a big hugger, outside of people that i trust... (relatives, CLOSE friends, and girl friends.) soooooo, in conclusion, i will not be the the guy that gives females long ass hugs during my middle-ages of life... AND i feel really good about that!